Tonight is the first time I am venturing out since having Kayla. No, for real. I have not been out of my house, even to check the mail, since Tuesday. I have managed to shower, that is good right? We have a birthday party to go to tonight in our neighborhood. I figure it will be good for me to get out and see some friends. So I decide to make the dreaded decision of figuring out what to wear tonight.
BAD IDEA!
I have seen myself in the mirror a few times and didn't think I looked too bad. Then I tried to squeeze my postpartum butt into pre-pregnancy jeans. Scary to say the very least. But I refuse to wear the high panel maternity pants that graced my butt in the latter days of my pregnancy. After trying on about 10 pairs of jeans, I lock myself in my closet (slamming the door on hubby's face) and start crying. I heard a still, small voice say "Hello, you had a baby 5 days ago, give yourself a break." But then I heard a louder voice screaming, "Hey fat lard, nice butt" - but the voice didn't say it that nice. So I finally find an outfit that hides enough of me (it is a beautiful brown burlap sack) and take a shower.
Why is it that I have the bustline of a swimsuit model but a waistline of a 1000 lb lady who just lost 900 lbs (sorry for the visual)? My swimsuit model days are over. Let's be honest, my swimsuit model days were over LOOOOOOONG before children. But still. When the lower half gets back in shape the upper half will be out of shape from my little nurslings. I am doomed to have a body of a 31 year old with two kids.
Yes I am feeling sorry for myself, yes I am postpartum. Yes, my in-laws left today and life has officially begun. Ok...take a deep breath Beckie. You will make it. You are stronger than you think you are.
Meanwhile, my mind has me thinking irrational thoughts like. . .what project can I possibly make out of my leftover hospital supplies?
Oh yes, I did take a picture of it. LOL! Yes gentlemen, we do wear those diapers after having a baby.
Sorry dad if you read this. I am still your sweet, red-headed, creative daughter.
My husband has had the door slammed on him several times when I can't find anything to wear. And I haven't had any kids. Don't be so hard on yourself.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see what you come up with on the diaper...
I threw a can of formula at my husband when I told him I couldn't breastfeed anymore (I did keep b/f ing. I was just really tired at the time). I don't know what I would've done without those padlike icepacks. They are amazing!! :-) I was so naive when it came to postpartum stuff. I had no idea...at least I know now! :-) Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteBeckie, I think most of us mommas COMPLETELY understand how you're feeling right now! Take a deep breath, enjoy your precious little girl, and don't let your post-preggo body rob you of the joy this little girl has brought to your life! :) Stupid hollywood has us thinking we need to be back in our pre-preggo clothes the week after the baby was born...so not real life (unfortunately). The weight will come off and in the mean time, I have a GREAT project you can make with your left over hospital pads/diapers http://iamacraftaddict.blogspot.com/2008/12/few-of-my-favorite-things-thrifty-white.html
ReplyDeleteThat's a post on my blog from Christmas time...scroll down on the post and you'll see what I made. If nothing else, hopefully it will make you laugh and I hope you have a WONDERFUL weekend! {hugs}
Oh Beckie...I just love the post. My Mom kept telling me, one day at a time!!! It won't be long (for real, I'm serious) until you get back into old clothes, and into the swing of things again. With 2 kids, time will fly by even faster.
ReplyDeleteSeeing this picture you posted, brought back memories and made me laugh...during my first labor, Matt put one of those ice pads on my HEAD to cool me off during delivery...yeah, neither one of us knew what they were really used for until later!!!!! Good times.
You are an awesome lady, mom, and wife.
Much Love to you!!!!!!
Melissa O
Oh you poor thing!
ReplyDeleteYou are beautiful no matter what your size of waistline and bustline.
I had the same experience with Hunter and whole maternity clothes thing. I went and bought me a larger size of jeans. I just didn't care what size the tagged said. I just wanted something that wasn't matenity.
Take pictures of yourself today. Cuz when we are 60 and on hormone therapy, we'll look back and see how perky everything was back in the day!
considered yourself covered in prayer!
Your post is too funny and oh so true! I have the doomed body of a 30 year old with two kids...and it SUCKS! lol
ReplyDeleteMy youngest is two years old and I still have the body of a pregnant woman! I sometimes have people approach me and ask me about when my baby is due! I hate my body and wish I could look normal again!
You are strong...you'll make it! Your Mom is coming soon! The fact that you thought about how to use those items in a crafty way...proves you are indeed still our Beckie! HA ha! Hoping to see your smile soon! Praying for you!!!
ReplyDeleteYou might want to be clear that the voice yelling "hey fat lard butt" WAS NOT your husband on the other side of the door!! LOL!
ReplyDeleteOh goodness...I had to wear those stupid panel pants after I had kids. So many of us have. Did we like it, NO! But at least you are not alone!
you will feel better if you go to walmart and buy a cheap pair of pants that fit. (just cut the tag out so you don't have to look at the size...that's what I did!) Soon enough you will start shrinking and those jeans will fit again. hang in there!
oh man. I loved those gauzy undies. I took extra home with me after the second delivery and I think I wore them for like a week.
ReplyDeleteWhat about wearing skirts? oh yeah. January in Indiana probably isn't condusive to skirts.....
The best advice I got was to let my hair grow out while pregnant and then get a smashing new "do" after the baby was born. There's not much you can change about your body right away, but the hair? oh yes.. instant results.
Love the post. Experienced all those same feelings with each new baby. By the third baby you'll be a little more prepared for it! You're going to do great and I bet you'll be back in those jeans before you know it. For now, get the rest that you need and love on those babies.
ReplyDeleteThose 'nappies' just reminded me what its really like... before that
ReplyDeletei was living in a lovely state of denial!
I just had to comment because I've been there, done that SO many times. Honestly? Brave of you to venture out 5 days later. I never even journied to church until the kids were 3 weeks old. It took me THAT long to even fit into anything and I was still having to wear maternity shirts to cover the girls. I know it sucks. It just does. But, it will pass. You will not look like this forever. Your tummy will go down and unfortunately, yes, your girls will too. That's what good bras are for! Remember too, that your husband thinks you're hot regardless. He loves you. Loves what you just pushed out. Your body just needs some time.
ReplyDeleteAs for the diapers, come take a look at my blog and see what my sister in law made me for Christmas... you could make some super size ones!
http://therapeuticramblingsofamom.blogspot.com/2009/01/im-not-kidding.html
I actually FORGOT about those lovely diapers you get to wear after childbirth (it's been almost 8 years for me since my DS). Ahhhh, brings back wonderful memories!
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad about your post baby body...as I said, it's been 8 years, and I'm still looking like the 1000 lb. woman after losing 900 lbs. (what a wonderful??? description) Give yourself a break, and remember it's just the hormones talking! Hope you have fun at the party!
No judgment passed here! Been there, done that (wait, I'm doing that now!).
ReplyDeleteI have a pair of jeans from before I was a mom and keep them on "skinny" days to see if they fit. They don't. Ever.
I think my "skinny" days are over which is so sad because I didn't even know they were the skinny days!
My heart goes out to you...the blooey blues are rough and leave your husband in your wake.
Oh I laughed so hard because I have the same memory so fresh in my mind because I just went through this only 2 1/2 months ago. Pretty sure I had the same moment in my closet and my dear sweet husband said the same thing to me! I agree with Shannon. I had to go to Old Navy and buy a big pair of jeans because I just could not handle wearing my cute gap maternity jeans any longer. EVen though you'll have to buy bigger jeans it really is good for your mental health! :) Congratulations! She is so beautiful! I can honestly say I can't wait to see what beautiful thing you make with your left over supplies. YOu should thrown in some tucks pads too!
ReplyDeleteNicole W.
I'm sure you have a neighbor who is pregnant (first time will be better) and you could offer her a nice basket with those hospital supplies (call it: the get real basket !!! lol)
ReplyDeleteI had an older friend who once told me she still had her baby fat from her daughter ... 25 years after the birth ... scary ... Let's move it, move it !!! lol
But it's true you should be more gentle to yourself and give a little more time for your body to go back in shape (it took you 9 months to create this little baby) so you can wait some months before having a swimsuit show ;-)
oooooohhh poor Beckie. :( Just think of alllll those calories you'll burn breast feeding. We still love you. Love, Steph
ReplyDeleteOhhhhh honey......
ReplyDeleteI just had a baby a little over 28 years ago and I'm certainly giving myself time (cough) to get my girlish figure back. Be patient.
Lovvveee ya,
Mom :)
Oh ya, it sucks! Big time. We all want to be SO DONE with the prego clothes. Just done!
ReplyDeleteI did the same thing Dee did. Two weeks after giving birth (not five days) I went shopping and told myself I didn't care what the tag said. They were only temporary. It actually worked. They were three sizes bigger than what I wear now, but I felt better just wearing real jeans.
One day at a time. You ARE BEAUTIFUL!
Me too, I had to wait 2 weeks to drive myself anywhere, and I did the haircut makeover-instant results are just the best! Hang in there-this too shall pass :o)
ReplyDeleteBeckie we all feel like that after having a baby. A word of advice... hide all cameras! After I had Ben, someone had taken a picture of us in our kitchen, my back was turned.
ReplyDeleteNeedless to say, we got pictures developed and when I came across the beautiful glossy of my very wide post pregnancy rear end I was mortified!!!!
Hang in there!! I will be praying for you...encouragement, strength, rest.
oh how i love you, beckie...
ReplyDeleteit is slow going for me, but i just started exercising again and i've been surprised how quickly i've been losing weight. i think i'll breastfeed forever. =)
was just in your shoes, beckie. (actually still am) because I'm still not wearing regular pants most of the time. I like shannons idea of cutting the tag out. I did end up going to old navy to get some real clothes that fit. When you can start exercising you will feel so much better. I too, feel like my stomach is some sort of crazy blob of gross skin. I figure if i can get my body back before my boobs go then it will make the boob part of it less painful. We will see. hang in there!
ReplyDeleteYeah your post definitely brought back memories! I remember when I got home from the hospital with Issabel I only weighted a couple pounds lighter (even after I just delivered a 7 lb baby!). I was still carrying around SOOO much fluid that I hadn't dropped any weight! And remember the pic of my triple chin?! That took a while to go away!
ReplyDeleteI love reading your posts...they always make me either think about what item I should try to turn into a masterpiece, or at the very least they make me laugh...ie your diaper and hospital items...
ReplyDeleteI loved those gauzy panties. Wore 'em for 2 weeks.
ReplyDeleteWhat? You think I was gonna bleed on my bood Body by Victoria ones? Uh-uh. No way.